


Something's Up With Respawn

by AlexKingOfTheDamned, swimsalot



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Also there's lots of vomiting, But it's also super cute, Clones, Gen, Glitches, Respawn, Seriously this is weird, Weird Biology, Weirdness, Worth a read I think, and funny, because i like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2257044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexKingOfTheDamned/pseuds/AlexKingOfTheDamned, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimsalot/pseuds/swimsalot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Respawn starts to glitch, and the Administrator sets Engineer to work fixing it. </p><p>It doesn't take long for him to find out exactly what's going wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something's Up With Respawn

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of throwing up involved in this, because I like it and I'm trash. I hope you don't have a weak stomach, dear reader.
> 
> Pictures drawn by Squidbiscuit on tumblr, and she was the inspiration for this piece!

 

Something wrong with respawn, the Administrator had said. Go check it out, she said. Engineer isn’t one to argue with the boss, but privately he thinks that there should probably be somebody whose job it is to look after the mechanics. They shouldn’t have to rely on the people _in_ the war to fix the things that should keep them alive to keep fighting the war.

 

But when he gets there, he sees that she’s not wrong. The whole system is on the fritz, shooting off sparks and making unsettling groaning noises. In fact, it looks so messed up he’s surprised she hasn’t called off the fighting for the day. If the RED’s can’t respawn, the BLU’s will have a definite advantage.

 

He just set out his tool box and opened it up when there’s a pop nearby, and he turns quickly to see Scout wobbling unsteadily on his feet.

 

“That… that was rough,” Scout groans, tipping over sideways and grabbing the wall for support. “It’s not usually this bad – crap.” He doubles over shaking and empties at least three cans worth of Bonk! on the concrete floor.

 

“Don’t usually make that noise, neither,” the Engineer puts his hands on his hips with a frown

 

There’s a second pop, louder than the first, and the air in respawn seems to crackle and fizzle for a minute, leaving both mercs disoriented, and it sends Scout retching again. When they look towards who had just respawned, both of them freeze.

 

It looks like Scout. But like a third grader’s drawing of Scout that had come to life. His eyes are swollen and lopsided, more like a chameleon’s eyes than a human’s, his pupils facing in opposite directions, and his ears are the size of baseballs. One of his hands is a hideous giant meat hook, whereas his other arm is as thin and flat as a streamer; so flat in fact that it’s twisted slightly on itself. He doesn’t really have fingers as much as wide, chubby stumps with fingernails. One of his legs doesn’t even appear to be attached, as much as his pelvis is just resting on top of a separate unit of skin and pants.

 

Although, it can’t really be called skin. He looks almost waxy and a little bit shiny, his mouth is a crooked line drawn through the entire width of his face like a puppet without any traces of lips, his buck teeth are so large that they show even with his mouth closed.

 

Both mercs are unable to move, stunned into stillness and silence by the grotesque echo of humanity in front of them.

 

It's Scout, the still human looking Scout rather than his terrifying double, who speaks first, breaking the heavy silence.

 

"What the fuck is that thing?!" he demands, looking between the living wax monstrosity and the Engineer. "What is that? Am I going to turn into that? Is that going to be me? Aw jeez I'm gonna puke again, tell me I ain't gonna turn into that!"

 

“It looks like a respawn glitch if I ever saw one,” Engineer breathes, his voice tight with disgust. “Remember that time Demo respawned with four arms? I fixed respawn then and I should be able to fix this. I don’t think it’s even alive, it’s just… the bare minimum of your DNA somehow got ricocheted back through the system. It’s like the leftovers. _Your_ leftovers.”

 

"I don't want leftovers a' me. Can I kill it?" Scout asks, hitting the double in the arm with his gun.

 

To both their surprise, the figure doesn't fall over like an ugly heap of dead flesh. It moves, somewhat jerkily, seconds after the cold metal of the gun should have caused it to react.

 

“BLONK,” it speaks, sending both mercs jumping back a few feet. Its entire head hinges back as its wide mouth separates to form the cotton-sounding word. With its eyes so wide apart, it has to swing its entire head around to look at either man.

 

“Oh lord have mercy it is alive,” Engineer has a hand pressed over his heart in horror.

 

“Untutut!” it speaks again, and tries to take a step forward. But Engineer’s assumption is confirmed when the creatures’s body slides right off its unattached leg and it falls to the ground without even trying to catch itself, giving off a wet-sounding splat. “Oog,” it groans, and starts to roll towards the door leading out of respawn.

 

"So I can shoot now right?" Scout asks, levelling his gun at the creature's head. "And get back to the real war and actually do my job? Cause that thing is gonna give me nightmares for the rest of my freakin' life."

 

“God yes, shoot it,” Engineer shouldn’t even need to give Scout permission.

 

It doesn’t bleed, exactly. It splatters kind of in the way those wax candy drinks would, oozing purple instead of red, the color of the energy drinks Scout guzzles. Both of the men stare at one another in shock.

 

“Maybe… try not to die again,” Engineer croaks after a few moments of silence. “Cause that might happen again.”

 

"Maybe we should just take a day off? While you do whatever you do to keep is immortal?" Scout suggests, still staring at the oozing mass of himself on the floor.

 

“I suggested that, but the Administrator’s havin’ none of it,” Engineer wipes his hands on his overalls, he feels dirty just looking at that thing. “You’re fast as a jack rabbit, go around and warn everyone that this is happenin’ and tell ‘em to be extra careful.”

 

"What if they're already dead?" Scout shouts. "What if we end up with an army of those ugly s.o.b’s on our asses?"

 

“Well, hopefully they’ll all fall off their own legs too,” Engineer stoops to pick up the severed but whole leg off the floor and tosses it at the Scout. “Now get movin’! I gotta see if I can’t fix this mess.”

 

Scout nods and takes off at top speed towards the ongoing battle. It isn't hard to find his teammates but getting close enough to shout his warning without being blown to bits is another story.

 

The first person he encounters is Spy who says nothing, but Scout thinks he sees him nod as he races off. That shouldn't be a problem, Spy almost never dies anyway. He's too good at being invisible and sneaking around and not getting killed to die.

 

Next is Medic, and by default Heavy. They're stopped for a moment for Medic can collect some body parts off a pile of goons Heavy recently turned into corpses and it's easy enough for Scout to get their attention.

 

"Hey fellas," he says, stopping for a moment to rest his legs. "So, here's the deal. Respawn is fucked so if you die you're gonna come back with this freaky ass ugly as all shit - and I mean _really ugly_ , like uglier than what Spy's smuggling under that mask - clone thing. And they're alive and talk and shit so don't get killed until Engineer's got it figured out alright?"

 

The pair stare at their younger teammate with wide eyes as they listen to him, processing what he said with blank expressions.

 

“Are you sure?” Heavy asks in a low rumble.

 

“Respawn is cloning us?” Medic’s eyes widen even farther and start to glitter with mischief.

 

"Not exactly. It's cloning fucked up versions of us made outta playdoh or somethin like that. It's messed up, don't do it. I ain't gonna sleep for weeks after what I just saw. Trust me, you can't handle it," Scout answers, shrugging his shoulders as if suffering life long night terrors is no big deal for someone like him.

 

Medic turns a wide grin to Heavy, who gives him a quizzical stare before it hardens into realization.

 

“Doktor, no,” he says firmly.

 

Medic just gives a yelp of glee and grabs Heavy’s shotgun off his hip, points it at his head, and with a click of the trigger his entire body from the shoulders up explodes in a pink mist, splattering both men. Heavy gives a defeated sigh as Medic’s body crumples to the ground.

 

"The fuck just happened?" Scout asks, shocked. He's covered from head to toe in blood and is pretty sure he's going to be sick again.

 

"Is doktor being doktor. Will not end well," Heay sighs. "Come, let us find other teammates to warn of clones. Doktor will sort self out in time."

 

Back in respawn, Engineer gives a startled whoop when the POP sound from before rattles his ear drums. He whirls from his task to find Medic wobbling on his feet. His legs give out from under him completely and he hits the ground hard with a grunt.

 

“Ach, zhat vas hellish,” he groans, rubbing his stomach which has started to lurch and do flips.

 

“Yeah, respawn’s a little glitchy right now,” Engie looks around nervously, hoping they won’t encounter another one of those hideous clones. “Didn’t Scout warn you about what’s going on?”

 

“Ja, he did, and I’m curious,” Medic grabs the wall for support as he hauls himself back up. “Vhere is it?”

 

The second pop reverberates through the room. It feels like the floor under them shakes for a split second, but reasonably Medic knows it’s just their equilibriums that were shaken. He rubs his eyes to chase away the lingering nausea and turns to face his clone.

 

He gives a shout of laughter at the sight of it. Wide, slightly smushed eyes flank a nose that is so hooked it’s almost crushed right back into the creature’s face. It’s glasses are set so wide apart they can’t possibly be of any use, not that the clone could look through them anyway given that its pupils are diametrically opposed to one another, swiveling in opposite directions. Its arms are much too short for its body, one is dangerously thin, whereas the other is scrunched and folded like an accordion.

 

Medic puts his hands on his hips as he regards the clone’s chin, which looks like it’s been put through a laundry press, and its pigeon-toed feet.

 

“Zhis is remarkable,” he laughs, tilting his head to try and see if the clone even has nostrils.

 

The clone copies him at the same angle with a garbled, parroted, “Markabla.”

 

"Yeah it's a real tough fix too," Engineer says, pushing his hard hat up a little so he scratch his head. "Can't figure out where the damn problem is coming from so it's gettin' real hard to fix it. I'll get it sorted out don't worry. In the meantime, better take care of this."

 

He lifts his wrench menacingly in the air as if he's about to strike the clone or the doctor down with it.

 

“No, don’t!” Medic catches the wrench before it can smash into the lopsided creature. “I vant to study zhis. I vant to keep it, like a pet. I’ve alvays vanted a pet circus freak.”

 

"Ya can't keep it. It's a monstrosity and we don't know what it's capable of." Engineer argues. "What if it's crazy? Or toxic or something? Could be radioactive, you don't know. Or you could die again and get another one. And another and another. If we don't start killin' em we'll be overrun."

 

While he talks, the Medic clone starts to awkwardly trundle towards the wall. At the same instant Engie finishes his sentence, it hits said wall and falls over flat backwards. All four limbs are summarily thrust into the air as it gives a distressed honking sound.

 

Medic raises his eyebrows at the Engineer. “Oh, ja, I think ve’re all in terrible danger.”

 

"You don't know. Could be callin' for backup or somethin'." Engineer says, turning red with embarrassment. "If you're goin' to take it I can't stop you. But try not to make any more, alright?"

 

“Of course, Herr,” Medic hoists his clone up by the armpits.

 

“We don’t need any more of those darn Echoes runnin’ around than necessary,” Engineer mutters.

 

“Echo. Zhat’s a good name for it I think. Come, Echo. Let’s go do some experiments!” Medic crows as he starts out of respawn with his finger lifted triumphantly.

 

“Ermamint!” the Echo repeats and toddles after Medic, mirroring his raised hand with an awkwardly lifted accordion arm.

 

===

 

It takes Scout less than twenty minutes to finish warning the rest of the team. After that all he has to worry about is not getting killed while being awesome at his job and taking out as many BLU's as he can.

 

He's been blasting guys away with his scattergun for almost half an hour before he runs into Medic again. The German has his medigun trained on a wounded Soldier and behind him, apparently watching his back, is the hideous scribble that must be his double.

 

"Hey doc!" the Scout shouts. "The fuck you doin' with that thing?"

 

“It gives off an unpleasant honking sound vhenever zhere’s a BLU in sight,” Medic explains, dabbing some sweat from the Soldier’s brow with his sleeve. “It’s watching for me vhile I take care of our comrade,”

 

"But how the hell did you get it to do that?" Scout asks, watching the Echo suspiciously. "I mean it’s messed up right? It can't talk or understand."

 

“Not true,” Medic says as he helps the recovered Soldier to his feet. “By my reasoning zhey have zhe language and reasoning abilities of a three year old. I simply asked it to, and it obeyed.”

 

"It just listened?" Scout asks. Suddenly he grins like a light switch goes off in head. This could be fun, and make work easier. "Alright! Be right back!"

 

He doesn't go anywhere though. He just lifts his shot gun to his head and pulls the trigger.

 

Medic flinches when a spray of brain matter shoots across his face, and wipes his glasses off with his sleeve in time to watch Scout’s body crumple. He gives a little hoot of laughter.

 

===

 

Engineer had given up trying to stop Scout after his fourth trip through respawn in five minutes. He had to take a short break every time to regain his bearings, but then he was back out the door and shot himself again. He had an army of ten mutated, warped Scouts by the time he was done, and when he shouted for them to follow, they did without question.

 

Some of them were long and skinny like strings of taffy, some of them had to waddle more than walk, and one in particular had legs that were so swollen, it just laid down on its side and rolled itself along on bloated thighs.

 

"This ain't gonna be good," Engineer mutters to himself as they all waddled or rolled or crawled out the door. But there's not much he can do but be glad that they don't respawn too. At least not yet.

 

Outside Scout's army is unleashed upon the unsuspecting BLU troops. They've all been given one order, alert him to any BLU fighters they see and then stand there and serve as a distraction while he takes all the glory.

 

It doesn’t take long for Demo and Soldier to catch on, and they gleefully shoot one another in the head and respawn together with their own deformed Echoes, Soldier’s with shoulders that look like they’re trying to reach outer space with their height and pointiness, and Demo’s with a face so wide and flat it’s like somebody stepped on it.

 

Engineer completely gives up trying to stop people. He regrets sending Scout to warn everyone, from him apparently, it was more like a sale’s pitch.

 

When Sniper shows up in respawn, he immediately falls over retching and shaking on hands and knees, drooling on the floor, tears dripping from his eyes.

 

“I’ve no sympathy for you,” Engie says gruffly. “Scout warned you and the lot of you’ve been runnin’ through here like it’s a parade.”

 

“I didn’t die on purpose unlike those gibs,” Sniper chokes, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before another loud pop announces the arrival of his own twisted Echo. With wide, wide eyes and pointed ears, it looks like an even longer, taller version of Sniper with waggly noodle limbs and flat feet. Sniper spares the Echo a few seconds glance before levering himself up using the wall. “As I was sayin, I got backstabbed by a BLU Spy. I didn’t volunteer for this bologna.”

 

"Well do ya wanna keep him?" Engineer asks. "Or kill him? I don't know what you'd do with him up in your little nest. Seems like he'd be a pain and he definitely can't shoot."

 

“Marm,” the Echo speaks in a twisted-up voice.

 

“What the bleedin’ devil is marm,” Sniper says tiredly.

 

“Marm,” it repeats, and looks down at its left arm.

 

"I think it means 'my arm'." Engineer says. He takes a step forward to inspect the clone's arm. He isn't moving it but for the most part it looks normal. Does it hurt? Can they feel pain?

 

Suddenly, and without warning, the Echo’s arm falls right off. No blood, no gore, it just falls off like it was poorly attached with clay. All three people stare at the arm on the floor in silence, before the Echo kicks it gently.

 

It opens its mouth, bearing crooked, sharp teeth, and speaks clearly, “Piss.”

 

"Tha's the most intelligent thing any of 'em has said yet." Engineer laughs, stepping back from the dismembered arm. "Looks like you got a smart one, lucky you. Now take ‘im and get out so I can get back to workin' on this."

 

“I don’t want him!” Sniper protests.

 

“Well then shoot him, he can’t stay here,” Engie says.

 

“I don’t wanna just shoot the fella,” Sniper frowns deeply. “Alright, fine, come with me, junior. And don’t talk, hear? Just come quiet.”

 

“Comequat,” the Echo repeats and follows Sniper out of respawn.

 

===

 

Fixing respawn is hard work. Engie gets burned and shocked, and in some cases, badly hurt. When a stuck part decides to abruptly unstuck, the Engineer loses his hand completely. It’s a big messy ordeal with yelling and a lot of blood, his organic hand chewed right up in the machinery.

 

His only option is to respawn with a new hand. He can’t work one-handed, especially not losing blood and getting dizzy. But if he respawns, he’ll have his own Echo to deal with.

 

It might be the blood loss talking but maybe having an Echo won't be so bad. It can hand him tools and touch the stuff that looks dangerous but needs to be moved around. Maybe it'll be worth it.

 

Or that's what he tells himself before putting himself out of his misery.

 

He witnesses firsthand just how rocky respawn is. It’s usually a somewhat dizzying ride, but the average joe is back on his feet in only a few seconds with nothing more than the fading memory of a queasy headache.

 

But this time, he feels as though he’s been sent around in a spiral for several long minutes before violently thrown to the ground, dizzy and nauseous and covered in the blood puddled on the floor.

 

He’s not even on his feet by the time the second pop rattles the room. By the time he has his bearings, his Echo has sat down beside him. It’s hunchbacked and crooked, with a neck the length of which has never been achieved by man, and skinny little legs that don’t at all match its bloated upper body. It’s no wonder it sat down.

 

"Alright partner," he says between retches as he fights down his nausea. He manages to fight down the bile rising in his throat and the feeling starts to pass. "If you're going to stick around you're going to be helpful. Scoot on up there next to the tool box and let's see if we can get this thing in order."

 

The Echo scoots across the floor on its backside like a dog with an itch towards the box it was beckoned to, but when it tries to touch it, it knocks the whole thing over and spills the tools all over the floor. It gives a distressed yelp and both misshapen hands fly to its face in horror.

 

“Immory,” it whimpers and kicks its feet uselessly at a wrench.

 

"Hey, hey. It's alright buddy," Engineer says, smiling fondly at the Echo. It's kind of cute, despite it’s appearance. Like a really ugly little kid.

 

He gathers up the tools and puts them in a pile next to the Echo. "Alright now when I ask for somethin' you hand it to me alright? No need to get it to me fast, take all the time you need to pick it up without makin' a mess."

 

They work together for quite some time. It takes a while for the Echo to figure out which tool is which, but it helps itself learn by repeating it whenever the Engineer asks for one. Well, sort of.

 

“Hammer.”

 

“Amma.”

 

“Wrench.”

 

“Ech.”

 

“Screwdriver.”

 

“Uwiver.”

 

“Level.”

 

“Evva.”

 

It’s actually sort of fun. It’s nice to work with company, especially the kind of company who doesn’t ask useless questions and helps without a fuss. It really does resemble working with a very compliant child. It caters to Engie’s deep desire to be a father someday. Somewhere close to an hour passes without another incident, but the Echo starts to look a little tired. It’s almost like it’s started to sweat, but the liquid on its face is thick and viscous.

 

"What's wrong darlin'? You startin' to melt?" Engineer laughs, teasing. His smile dies quickly though. Maybe it is melting. Maybe he's going to end up with a pool of Engie Echo around his feet.

 

The thought makes him tear up a little. He really likes the little guy, he doesn't want him to die anymore.

 

“Yop,” the Echo says. It wiggles a little, and then falls over, dead. The Engineer doesn’t know what to make of it. It happened so suddenly.

 

Before he can really react, Scout is back, but this time he runs into respawn through the door. “Ey, yo, what gives? How come they keep dyin?” he asks. “You do something to respawn? They keep fallin’ over like flies, I was just figurin’ out how to really make them do stuff for me!”

 

"Looks like they don' live too long." Engineer answers, looking down at his dead friend. "They work too much and they just give out. Like toys that run outta batteries."

 

“Man, I don’t wanna make more trips through respawn!” Scout whines. “Can’t you fix it to make ‘em last forever instead? Or at least ‘till we get tired of em and kill em ourselves?”

 

"I don' even know how they got here in the first place!" Engineer snaps. "I wanted to keep mine too but there's nothing I can figure out. I can barely figure out what's wrong with this damn thing! So either make more or say goodbye to the ones you got left. And in the meantime go tell the others about this, if they think they can raise an army they got another thing-"

 

He's cut off by the sudden and very loud appearance of Heavy, who sways dangerously and falls over, clutching his belly and looking a little green in the face.

 

“God dammit,” he grunts, a little cranky after the loss of something he’d just started to get attached to.

 

“Doktor shot me in the head,” Heavy moans, leaning up against the wall.

 

“That’s just like him,” Scout shrugs, and then he’s off again.

 

The door to respawn opens only seconds later with the appearance of Medic, just in time to meet the loud pop that brings forth Heavy’s Echo. It’s smaller than him by half, with lumpy arms and egg-shaped eyes, its entire torso appears to be stuck on his legs at an angle. It’s so crooked in fact that it falls right over sideways with a bellowing sound kind of like a bull underwater.

 

"You shoot me!" Heavy accuses, pointing at the doctor. "Did not even give me time to prepare myself. And now there is this! Is ugly usless thing!"

 

“Uwaaagh!” the Echo honks, flailing fat rubbery arms at the doctor.

 

“I vanted to see vhat your Echo looks like,” Medic grins gleefully. “It sort of resembles an elephant seal.”

 

"You kill it," Heavy says, crossing his arms and glaring down at the medic. "Is no good. Can not even walk. You shoot it and we go. And no more killing me without permission, da?"

 

“Nein, I need more Echoes to do experiments on. Mine died. I vant to see if I can stop zhem from dying. Come, Echo.” He slaps his thigh like he’s beckoning a dog.

 

Heavy’s Echo gives a wordless grunt and starts to roll its puffy, awkward body across the ground.

 

"Well hurry up if you wanna keep him around! I think I almost got this figured out!" Engineer shouts after them.

 

Once their gone he turns back to Heavy with a sigh. "That's a lie. I got no idea what I'm doin' here. You wanna take a look big guy? Maybe you can see something I can't."

 

===

 

Pyro is the next to make their way through, although they don’t seem at all bothered by the rough respawn. They wait patiently for their new friend, who pops into existence with a lumpy head, bloated belly and wide hips. It turns its wide gaze around the room, tiny beady pupils visible through the foggy light grey glass of its lenses.

 

Heavy and Engie exchange looks. Something about this Echo in particular is very unsettling, but Pyro is bouncing up and down in place with happy muffled noises, clapping their hands together.

 

“Mpphmmhhpphp mmphmmph!”

 

And then the Echo speaks in a very small, clear voice, like somebody talking from very far away, “I agree. Let’s go.”

 

Holding out its long-fingered hand, it grasps Pyro’s gloved hand and they walk out of respawn together.

 

"That scare you at al?" Engineer asks, looking at Heavy for reassurance that he hadn't started hallucinating.

 

Heavy gives a weak nod, pale-faced. “It spoke words,” he says, wide-eyed and shaking.

 

"Good. Thought I was hearin' things." the texan says, shaking his head. "Boy I hope that one dies quick. I don't want to see what it's like on the battle field. Guess only Spy is left, and who knows if he's ever even goin' to come through. Not that I wouldn't pay good money to see his Echo."

 

“I could go find him. Accidentally push him off cliff,” Heavy says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

 

"You do that and I'll give you half my paycheck and a five course meal as a reward." Engineer laughs.

 

Heavy is off before Engie can finish his sentence. The great thing about being the best cook on RED is that he can bribe anyone at any time with his cooking.

 

===

 

Spy seems to take it the roughest when he comes through respawn. He doesn’t even start on his feet, he respawns already falling over, which may have been the result of dying after falling from a great height.

 

He’s drooling and sweating and pale, and he burps a few times before losing his lunch all over the floor. He didn’t even have enough time to consider the indignity of sobbing and retching in the middle of respawn, the nausea hit him so fast.

 

As soon as it’s out of his system, though, he feels a sense of relief, and he wipes his runny nose and dripping mouth on his sleeve, spitting feebly on the ground before standing up on extremely wobbly legs.

 

That’s when the second pop sounds, and he whirls around, only to be face to face with the most hideous thing he’s ever seen. It looks like its head has been twisted, with one eye relocated to the side of its skull like a flounder, its nose underneath the opposite eye, and its ears are so low they’re on its jaw. One shoulder is much higher than the other, its limbs are lifeless and willowy, and its tie appears to defy gravity at an angle that shouldn’t be possible.

 

“Merde!” he chokes at the sight of it.

 

"Well look at that!" Engineer hoots, laughing loudly at the sight of Spy's Echo. It's one of the most misshapen he's seen yet and boy if it isn't worth having to cook a meal for Heavy nothing is.

 

"I think he likes you Spy," he laughs as the Echo reaches out for Spy and grabs on to the sleeve of his suit.

 

“Get off of me!” Spy spits, slapping the thing away from him.

 

“Nan me jets de cote, ya voo fanfaron pon!” the Echo babbles, waving boneless, noodle-like arms at the Spy.

 

"Is that French? Sounded French to me." Engineer says, smirking. He knows this is going to drive Spy crazy and boy is it fun to watch him get knocked down a peg or two.

 

“No, it was not!” Spy scoffs. “It was some ‘orrible pretend-French!”

 

He lifts his gun at the Echo, only to receive a gun lifted awkwardly at his own head by the very same creature. Before he can even put his own gun down he has a bullet through the head, and his body collapses. The Echo bursts into loud laughter that sounds like it had been recorded and played backwards, and it’s still laughing by the time Spy respawns again.

 

“You bastard!” he chokes at the Echo, only this time, within seconds there are two of them.

 

They start warking loudly to one another in mock-French, while Spy is doubled over against the wall again retching.

 

"Oh man, yours is a violent son of a bitch." the texan says, looking at the two lopsided creatures. It'd probably be best to get rid of them before they kill Spy again and make another of themselves. These ones could be a real problem if not handled quickly.

 

“Kwavez voo deet ah ma merry?” the first of the Echoes blurts, swinging its flat, almost two-dimensional body around and shooting Engie in the eye.

 

He respawns with a wicked headache to the sound of both Echoes laughing, and Spy choking miserably. His Echo is already there by the time he respawns, lopsided and hunchbacked as before, but its legs are stronger this time and it manages to stay standing as it tries uselessly to pull Engie to his feet.

 

"They're getting stronger," Engineer coughs to Spy. "Echo, kill Spy's clone!"

 

He hopes it will work. He hopes his Echo can somehow avoid being killed by the Spies and that it won't turn on him. It seemed to like him before. Maybe it will like him again. Maybe it will save his life.

 

His Echo picks up Engie’s wrench and swings wildly at the clone nearest to him, and the heavy metal sinks right into the side of his head. Engineer’s Echo is much stronger, physically, than the spies, with stocky arms and bowed legs and a thick torso that gives it more than enough weight to throw around. It tosses the wrench when the second Spy Echo starts to flee, but it misses and clatters to the floor.

 

“Oop,” Engie’s Echo sighs. “Mitnat.”

 

"It's alright. You saved me." Engineer says. He grins at the double and gives it a pat on the back for it's job well done. "Now that he's gone we don't got much to worry about. He'll die on his own soon enough."

 

“I’ll kill it,” Spy growls, lifting his gun with a snarl. “I’ll kill it before it can get away.”

 

He wobbles unsteadily out the door with a chip on his shoulder, leaving Engie behind with his Echo.

 

Engineer shakes his head disappointedly as his teammate stumbles away. "He should work on all that rage. You'd think stabbin' snipers all day would be more theraputic."

 

He manages a grin though when he turns back to his Echo. "Welcome back partner! You remember anythin' from before or do we gotta start all over?"

 

“Amma!” the Echo shouts.

 

"Alright! Well let's see if we can get that respawn fixed while you're here, huh?" Engineer says, wrapping an arm around the Echo's misshapen shoulders. "I think we're goin' to have a good time together while you're still around."

 

===

 

It took three days to get respawn sorted out. He had to recalibrate the entire system from the bottom up according to the original blueprints. Of course, it had been nice to have the company of his Echo.

 

Medic found out within the first day that what had the Echoes dying was the lack of a heart. Their entire body was suspended by leftover brain waves and respawn energy. Being that Medic had plentiful animal hearts lying around, Engineer readily offered his Echo as an experiment. With a brand-new horse heart in place, the Echo lived well past its previous life span of an hour.

 

The repairs finally being put in place meant everyone saying goodbye to their Echoes. Medic decided on a living autopsy to get rid of his. Soldier and Scout led theirs onto the field to go out in a blaze of glory. Spy had none left, having taken to destroying them as soon as they were born. Pyro's said a lengthy farewell that was cut short by the rest of the mercs who found it too creepy to let it continue. Engineer isn't sure but he's pretty sure he hears Pyro crying afterward.

 

Heavy simply shoots his and Demo blows all of his up in one disgusting display of dismembered limbs and burning flesh.

 

No one asks Engineer about his. No one asks where his little friend who helped him with the repairs has gone. And he doesn't say anything. It's none of their business what he did with his Echo.

 

He'd been asking for an assistant anyway.


End file.
